Community-Driven Bureaucracy

Don’t be deceived! This article is a joke.

In the progressively minded country of Martinez (a newly founded country on the Antarctic peninsula), the government is trying out something no one has before: Community-Driven Bureaucracy.

Bureaucracies are expensive

Bureaucratic systems can create mountains of paperwork.

“As you probably know,” Martinez’s president, Laufey Danielson, told us in reply to an email, “regulations and safety rules create a lot of paperwork. This paperwork ends up on some bureaucrat’s desk where they then have to decide what to do with it. ‘Should this be approved?’ they’ll ask themselves. Or, ‘Are these inspection results legitimate?’”

Laufey also explained to us the many other jobs bureaucrats have to do, including driving around and checking business for compliance, or being a full-time inspector at a slaughterhouse.

“Paying people to do all of these jobs is extremely expensive,” Laufey continued. “We would need money that our country doesn’t have. So, we decided to implement a new model.” This new model is now known as Community-Driven Bureaucracy.

Searching for a new model

After Martinez’s president and legislature discovered they did not have the money to support an administrative state, they contacted a group of legal experts to help them create a new model. These experts studied the issue extensively, looking for ways to reduce the costs of regulatory agencies. What the experts discovered is that most bureaucrats’ jobs are completely unnecessary.

“Essentially all of the paperwork that ends up on a bureaucrats desk is a complete waste,” explains Deesha Rosaline Camino Arklington, a professor at Chappell University. “Most of the time they approve the majority of it. And when they don’t approve something, it is usually due to their ignorance of the subject matter, misinterpretation of the law, or political targeting and oppression.” Dr. Arklington cited a recent raid on an Amish farm as an example of bureaucratic political targeting.

That’s why Dr. Arklington and other scholars devised a system that would still preserve the idea of a bureaucracy, but eliminate the police state and high costs of a traditional bureaucracy.

How it works

Community-Driven Bureaucracy relies on groups of individuals doing the job of the bureaucracy. Instead of sending a business approval form to the government, paying $400, and waiting, with Community-Driven Bureaucracy, you can print a form off the internet and have your neighbors or friends approve it. After the form is approved, it can be thrown in the trash.

“The garbage is where most forms belong anyway,” Dr. Arklington commented wryly. “Almost nobody looks at them after they’re approved anyway, so why are we keeping them?”

“It’s wonderful!” president Laufey said. “And the best part is it’s free!”

Controversy over CDB

While Community-Driven Bureaucracy has strong support from the general public, not everyone thinks “it’s wonderful.”

The view of the anti-regulation crowd

Those generally opposed to regulatory agencies, including libertarians and some conservatives, think that it is a joke. “If nobody’s checking in on things anyways, then what’s the point,” one person said. “You might as well eliminate the whole system.”

Advocates of Community-Driven Bureaucracy (CDB) respond to this claim by saying, “CDB isn’t completely independent. There are fines if the government discovers you didn’t perform inspections or fill out the right forms.”

What do bureaucracy-lovers think?

However, the most outcry against CDB has come from those who support traditional bureaucracies. “This system [CDB] has practically no accountability,” a page at regulationlovers.com says. “Someone could easily certify their pseudo-scientific medical practice in cahoots with their best friend and start selling snake oil on the market.”